Us vs. Them

Sock Toss Mix-Up

For this game you will need a basket of clean socks, at least one for each youth, rolled up into pairs like little balls. You’ll also need two laundry baskets or boxes at the front of the room. Divide the group into two teams and have them line up behind a starting line. Each player must toss their sock into the basket, but here’s the twist: they cannot use their hands. They can kick it, fling it with their elbow, or even launch it off their head, but no hands allowed! After everyone has had a turn, count how many socks made it into the baskets. Play a second round, but this time mix up the rules—maybe they have to throw with their non-dominant hand, or spin in a circle first. Keep it lighthearted and cheer each other on.

Follow-up questions:
What made this game fun or silly for you?
Did you notice that the rules made it harder for some people than others?
How did you feel when the socks went in—or didn’t?

Now that we’ve laughed and gotten moving, let’s think about what just happened. Some of us might have found the game easier because of our height, strength, or creativity. Others may have struggled a little more. That’s how life can feel sometimes when we are in groups. Some people seem to fit right in, while others can feel left out or find things harder.

The Bible story we’ll hear today is about someone who didn’t seem to belong. She was from the “outside,” and the people around Jesus didn’t think she deserved His attention. But Jesus showed that His love and healing are for everyone. Just like in our game, where everyone got a turn to play, God makes sure everyone has a place in His Kingdom.

As we move into Scripture and discussion, let’s keep that idea in mind. It’s easy to care about people who are like us, who are on our team, or who share our interests. But Jesus challenges us to notice the people who feel excluded and to make room for them. That’s what today’s lesson on inclusion is all about.

Read Matthew 15:21-28 (Jesus Heals the Canaanite Woman’s Daughter)

At that time, Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon. And behold, a Canaanite woman of that district came and called out, “Have pity on me, Lord, Son of David! My daughter is tormented by a demon.”

But Jesus did not say a word in answer to her. Jesus’ disciples came and asked him, “Send her away, for she keeps calling out after us.”

He said in reply, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.”

But the woman came and did Jesus homage, saying, “Lord, help me.”

He said in reply, “It is not right to take the food of the children and throw it to the dogs.”

She said, “Please, Lord, for even the dogs eat the scraps that fall from the table of their masters.”

Then Jesus said to her in reply, “O woman, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you wish.”

And the woman’s daughter was healed from that hour.

Matthew 15:21-28 – the Gospel for the 20th Sunday in Ordinary Time Year A

Let’s take a step back and look at some history. In the Old Testament, the prophets told the people many times that God is the God of all nations. He is not just the God of one country or one group. But the people of Israel had a very special relationship with Him. They were His chosen people, and they had been through a lot together. They had faced slavery in Egypt, the desert journey, and many struggles. Because of this, they were a close-knit group. It was natural for them to feel that God was especially theirs. Even Jesus, who was Jewish, sometimes spoke as if He came only for His people. But when you read the Gospels, you also see that Jesus reached beyond those limits. He praised people outside His own group and showed kindness to those others wanted to ignore.

The story of the Canaanite woman is one of those moments. She was not part of the Jewish people. She was a foreigner. To the disciples, she seemed like someone who should not have a place at the table. At first, even Jesus’ words sound harsh. When she begged for help for her daughter, He said it was not right to give the children’s food to the dogs. That sounds shocking. But pay attention to what happens next. She doesn’t walk away. She answers with humility and persistence. And Jesus praises her faith. He gives her what she asks for. Her daughter is healed.

Why does this matter? Because Jesus is showing His followers something important. His mission is bigger than one group. His love is not limited to a chosen few. The disciples needed to learn this lesson, and so do we. It is easy to think of life in terms of “us” and “them.” We want to stand up for our own group. We want to make sure our team, our club, or our circle of friends gets the best. Sometimes, we even want more than others. We might not say it out loud, but deep down we hope our side wins, even if that means others lose.

Think about school. Maybe your sports team wants more practice time in the gym than another team. Or maybe your club asks for more money than the others. It feels good to get what we want. But what happens if another group is left out? What if someone else is told they don’t matter as much? That is where the danger comes in. God doesn’t want us to live that way. His will is that everyone has what they need. Jesus showed that He had enough power and enough love for both His people and for outsiders like the Canaanite woman’s daughter. His healing was not a limited resource. There was no shortage of grace.

Now let’s bring it closer to your own lives. Can you think of groups at school or in society who don’t always get treated fairly? Maybe it’s students who are new to the country. Maybe it’s kids who don’t have much money. Maybe it’s people who look different, or those who struggle with learning. Would you want to be part of those groups? How would you feel if you were? Chances are, you wouldn’t like it. No one wants to feel invisible, unwanted, or pushed aside. Yet it happens all the time.

Sometimes we divide ourselves by race. Sometimes by gender. Sometimes by where we live, what we believe, or even by politics. These divisions can run so deep that we stop caring about people who are not like us. We get so focused on protecting “our side” that we forget about fairness, kindness, and love. But here’s the truth: God does not see us that way. He does not divide His love. He does not care more about one group than another. Every single person is His beloved child. He loves the people in your group just as much as He loves those outside of it.

The Kingdom of God is not built on walls or cliques. It is built on peace, justice, and love. That means we are called to do more than just care about ourselves. We are called to work for a fair world where everyone is valued. Doing God’s will means opening our hearts to others, even when it is uncomfortable. It means reaching across the lines that divide us.

So here’s the challenge: look around your school, your activities, your community. Who is being left out? Who is treated as “less”? What would it take for you to include them? Maybe it’s as simple as sitting next to someone who usually eats lunch alone. Maybe it’s inviting a classmate to join your group project. Maybe it’s speaking up when you hear someone being teased. Every act of inclusion matters.

Remember, Jesus showed us the way. He listened to someone others wanted to silence. He reached out to someone from the outside. He saw her faith and responded with love. If we follow His example, we can begin to make our schools and our communities reflect the Kingdom of God. A place where everyone belongs. A place where everyone is loved.

When breaking into small groups, encourage the youth to be open and respectful. Remind them that everyone’s voice matters and that listening is just as important as speaking. Ask them to share honestly but also to give others space to share. If someone is quiet, gently invite them to add their thoughts without putting them on the spot. The goal is to build trust and learn from each other’s experiences.

• What part of the story of the Canaanite woman stood out to you the most, and why?
• Have you ever felt like an outsider in a group? How did that make you feel?
• Can you think of a time when someone welcomed you in even though you were different from them? What did that mean to you?
• Why do you think Jesus chose to praise the faith of someone who was not part of His people?
• What are some groups at school or in your community that people often leave out or ignore?
• How can you tell when someone is being treated unfairly? What might you do to respond?
• What would your school look like if everyone practiced inclusion every day?
• Who is someone you look up to because they treat others with kindness and fairness? What makes them stand out?
• What do you think God wants from us when it comes to the way we treat people outside of our usual circles?
• If you could start one project or activity to make your school or community more inclusive, what would it be?

This week, your challenge is to take what you learned about inclusion and put it into action. Look for someone who might feel left out and make an effort to include them. Sit with a classmate at lunch who usually sits alone, or invite someone new to join your group in class or during a game. Even small actions like saying hello, asking how their day is going, or showing genuine interest in their hobbies can make a huge difference.

Another way to live this lesson is to stand up for someone if you see them being treated unfairly. That might mean speaking up when you hear a joke at someone’s expense or simply offering your support by being their friend. Pay attention this week to moments when you can be a bridge between groups. Every act of kindness and fairness reflects God’s love, and you might inspire others to do the same.

Let’s take a moment to quiet our hearts and place ourselves in God’s presence.

Loving God, we thank You for bringing us together today. We are grateful for the chance to learn about Your love for all people. You remind us that no one is outside of Your care and that Your Kingdom is open to everyone.

Lord, sometimes we are tempted to think only about ourselves or our own groups. Forgive us for the times we leave others out or fail to stand up for them. Help us to see every person as Your beloved child.

Give us courage this week to reach out, to include, and to show kindness. Teach us to be peacemakers and to build bridges, just as Jesus did with the Canaanite woman. May our actions bring healing, friendship, and love into our schools and communities.

We ask this in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Themes

• God Loves All: God’s love is not limited to one group of people. He cares for everyone, no matter where they come from. This reminds us that we are all His children.
• Inclusion Matters: Jesus welcomed the Canaanite woman and listened to her. He showed that outsiders are also part of God’s plan. We are called to welcome others in the same way.
• Breaking Down Barriers: People often divide themselves into “us” and “them.” Jesus breaks those walls by showing kindness to all. We are invited to do the same.
• Faith is Powerful: The Canaanite woman’s faith led to her daughter’s healing. Jesus praised her for her trust and persistence. Faith brings us closer to God.
• Justice for All: God wants fairness for everyone, not just a few. We should speak up when others are treated poorly. Justice is part of living the Gospel.
• Small Acts Count: Even little acts of kindness can make a big difference. Jesus showed care through words and actions. We can change lives with small choices.
• Learning from Outsiders: Sometimes the strongest examples of faith come from those outside our circle. The Canaanite woman teaches us about persistence and trust. We should be open to learning from others.
• Building God’s Kingdom: The Kingdom of God is a place where all belong. Jesus shows us how to create that space through love. Our actions help build that Kingdom here and now.
• Standing Up for Others: The disciples wanted to send the woman away, but Jesus welcomed her. This teaches us to defend those who are pushed aside. We are called to be allies for others.
• Community with All: Belonging to a group is good, but it should not shut others out. God wants us to see community as wide and open. Everyone should have a place.
• Following Jesus’ Example: Jesus included those who were left out by society. He showed us what it means to live with compassion. We are asked to walk in His footsteps.

Background Material

In Catholic teaching, inclusion is not just a nice idea. It is at the very heart of the Gospel. From the beginning, God’s plan has always been for all people. In the Old Testament, we see how God chose Israel as His people, but the prophets also remind us again and again that God’s care extends to every nation. Isaiah says, “my house shall be called a house of prayer for all peoples” (Isaiah 56:7). God never intended His love to be kept within one group.

Jesus showed this in His ministry. While He was sent first to Israel, He also reached out to those outside the Jewish community. He healed the servant of a Roman centurion (Matthew 8:5-13). He spoke with a Samaritan woman at the well (John 4:4-26). And in Matthew 15:21-28, He praised the Canaanite woman for her faith and healed her daughter. Each of these moments shows us that God’s love has no borders. Jesus makes it clear that everyone is welcome in the Kingdom of God.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church reminds us that the Church is meant to be universal. “The Church is catholic because she has been sent out by Christ on a mission to the whole of the human race” (CCC 831). This means that the Church is not for one people, one culture, or one nation. It is for everyone. That mission includes welcoming, respecting, and loving all people.

Catholic Social Teaching also points us to inclusion. The principle of human dignity says that every person is created in the image of God and deserves respect. This truth guides us to see beyond differences and to work for fairness. Pope Francis often speaks about building a culture of encounter. He calls us to go beyond comfort zones and to see Christ in each person, especially those who are poor, lonely, or excluded.

The story of the Canaanite woman helps us put this into practice. At first, the disciples wanted to send her away. She was not part of their group. But Jesus stopped and listened. He showed them that faith can be found in unexpected places. He also showed that His healing is not limited. It is overflowing and abundant. There is enough for everyone.

This lesson connects well to youth ministry because young people know what it feels like to belong or not belong. School, sports, and friendships often form circles where some are included and others are left out. The Gospel calls us to think differently. It tells us to welcome others in, not to push them out. It shows us that God’s family is larger than we sometimes imagine.

When we teach youth about inclusion, we are helping them live out the Catholic faith. We are helping them see the face of Christ in others. We are guiding them to practice justice, mercy, and love in daily life. This lesson reminds us that to follow Jesus means to treat everyone with dignity and fairness. It means to open our hearts and to make space at the table for all.

Music Suggestions

• Hold Us Together by Matt Maher
• A Rightful Place by Steve Angrisano
• The Summons by John L Bell
• Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone) by Chris Tomlin
• Come Alive (Dry Bones) by Lauren Daigle
• All Are Welcome by Marty Haugen