Fake You Out

Begin the lesson with a fun activity called Getting to Know You Bingo. This game helps break the ice and gives the youth a chance to notice things about each other they may not have known before. Hand out one bingo card to each person, along with a pen or pencil. Explain that they will move around the room, asking each other questions that match the statements on their cards. If someone says “yes” to a question, they write their name in that square. Each square should have a different name. The goal is to complete a row, four corners, or the full card, depending on the time you want to spend. When someone finishes, they shout “Bingo!” and you can have them share one fun fact they discovered.

You can find the full instructions and downloadable cards here.

That was fun, wasn’t it? You probably walked around and talked to people you don’t always get a chance to talk with. You might have discovered things about your friends that you never knew before. Maybe someone likes the same hobby as you, or maybe you were surprised to find out someone has a talent you didn’t expect. This game shows us that there’s always more to people than what we see on the outside.

Let’s think about what happened during the game. Did you notice how easy it is to make assumptions about others before you really ask questions? Sometimes we think we already know everything about someone, but then we find out something new that changes how we see them. That’s a reminder that each person has many sides, and not all of them are visible right away. If we only look at surface-level things, like who’s popular or who has the best clothes, we miss out on the deeper parts of who they are.

This connects to what we’re going to talk about today. Many times, people hide parts of themselves because they’re worried about being judged or left out. They think if they only show the “cool” version of themselves, they’ll be liked. But when that happens, others never get to see the whole person—the person God created them to be. Just like in the game, when we take time to notice and ask questions, we discover that there is so much more to people than we thought. That’s what today’s lesson is about: being real and learning to value others for who they truly are.

Now let me ask you a couple of questions to get started:

• Did you learn something new about someone during the game?
• Can you share one example of something surprising or interesting you found out?
• How did it feel to have someone notice something about you that they didn’t know before?

Read Romans 12:1-2 (Call to Holiness), the second reading for the 22nd Sunday in Ordinary Time Year A

I urge you, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, your spiritual worship.

Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect.

Romans 12:1-2

Let’s talk about something real. Every single one of you has been created by God for a reason. You are not here by accident. God made you with gifts, talents, and a purpose that no one else in the world can live out in the same way. But here’s the problem. Sometimes we feel like we have to hide who we really are to be liked. We pretend to be someone different because we think that version of ourselves will be more popular. Maybe we laugh at jokes we don’t think are funny. Maybe we act tougher, cooler, or even meaner than we really are. But when we do this, we are stepping away from the person God made us to be.

Think about how much time and energy we waste trying to fit in. Some of you may feel pressure to dress a certain way or buy certain things just so other people will think you belong. Others may spend hours stressing over how many likes or comments you get on a post, or whether your picture looks “good enough.” Maybe you’ve been tempted to gossip, put someone down, or act fake just to get approval. All of this drains you. It takes up space in your mind and heart, and it often leaves you feeling more empty than before. Why? Because deep down you know that people aren’t seeing the real you.

Here’s the truth: God already knows you. He knows your thoughts, your heart, your struggles, and your strengths. And He loves you completely. You don’t need to put on a mask for Him. You don’t need to change yourself to earn His love. The world may tell you that you have to look perfect, act cool, or gain followers to matter. But God says you already matter because you are His child. When you forget this, you start living for other people’s approval instead of living for the One who made you. That is when you lose sight of who you really are.

Being your authentic self doesn’t mean everyone will always like you. Jesus Himself wasn’t popular with everyone. In fact, some people hated Him because He stayed true to His mission. But He never stopped being who He was. He didn’t back down from speaking the truth, even when it cost Him friends or brought Him trouble. If Jesus faced that, then we will face it too. But here’s the good news: when you live as your true self in Christ, you’ll discover a deeper joy that popularity can never give you. You will also find real friends who love you for who you are, not for the mask you wear.

In Romans 12:2 we hear

Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect.

So rather than conforming to what we think will make us popular, we are called to be our true selves as God made us. Only then can we be transformed through our relationship with Christ and find the joy intended for us.

So here’s the challenge: stop wasting your time trying to be a copy of someone else. Stop chasing the quick approval that fades the next day. Instead, spend your energy getting closer to God. Pray. Listen to what He is saying in Scripture. Pay attention to the gifts He has given you. Use those gifts to do good in the world, because that is what you were created for. When you live this way, you step into the purpose God designed for you, and that will always be more fulfilling than popularity.

Remember this: you are God’s handiwork. You are His masterpiece. He made you to live as His son or daughter, and that is enough. The world might tell you to change, but God calls you to be yourself—the self He created. And when you choose authenticity over popularity, you not only honor Him, but you also bring light to others who may be struggling with the same pressures. That is how you live with real freedom and real joy.

When the youth break into small groups, remind them that this is a time to listen and share openly. Encourage everyone to respect each other’s words and not interrupt. Let them know it’s okay to be honest, and it’s also okay to just listen if they don’t feel ready to talk. Remind them that what is shared in the group should stay in the group so that everyone feels safe being real about their experiences.

• How much do you think popularity matters in your school or friend group?
• Have you ever felt like you had to act different from your true self to fit in? What happened?
• What do you think is the difference between real friendship and just being popular?
• Can you think of a time when trying to be popular made things harder for you?
• Why do you think God wants us to live as our true selves instead of hiding?
• What helps you remember that God loves you just as you are?
• How could you support a friend who feels pressure to be someone they are not?
• What is one small way you can practice being more authentic this week?

If time permits, make affirmation bracelets.

Here’s your challenge. This week, pay attention to the moments when you feel tempted to act fake just to fit in. Maybe it’s when someone is gossiping and you laugh along, even though it feels wrong. Maybe it’s when you’re about to post something online that doesn’t really show who you are, but you think it will get more likes. Or maybe it’s when you change the way you talk or act around certain people just so they’ll accept you. In those moments, stop and remind yourself that God made you to be real. You don’t need to wear a mask. You don’t need to copy someone else to matter.

Instead of choosing what you think will make you popular, try choosing what shows your true self. Speak kindly, even if others don’t. Share your real thoughts, even if they aren’t the most “in.” Dress and act in a way that reflects who you are, not what others demand. When you do this, you’ll find freedom. You won’t have to keep up the act. And you’ll discover that the right people, the friends who matter, will respect and love you for who you really are. Most of all, you’ll be living the way God wants you to live—honest, joyful, and authentic.

Give them a reminder they can keep. Here are some suggestions:

• The affirmation bracelets can serve this purpose if you made them.
• A small piece of mosaic stone. Each stone is different and beautiful in it’s own way. And when the different pieces are put together they make something beautiful.

As we finish this lesson, let’s come together in prayer. This is a time to be still and open our hearts to God. He knows each of us better than we know ourselves. He knows our struggles, our hopes, and our fears. Most of all, He loves us exactly as we are.

Before we pray, take a moment to think about your own life. Where do you feel pressure to be someone you’re not? Who are the friends or classmates who might be struggling with the same thing? Let’s bring those thoughts to God now. If you feel comfortable, share your own intentions out loud. Pray for friends, for courage, or for anyone who may be trying too hard to be popular instead of being themselves.

Now, together, let us pray the Prayer to Be My True Self.

Father, you know me better than anyone else.
You know me better than myself.
You know what I am going to say before I say it.
You love me exactly as I am.

You created me in my mother’s womb.
You made me the way I am for a purpose – your purpose.
You had a plan for me before I was even born.
And you love me exactly as I am.

Sometimes I want to run and hide my true self.
Sometimes I don’t want people to see the real me.
But you are always with me wherever I go,
Loving me exactly as I am.

Father, please grant me the courage to be the real me.
Help me to be the child you dreamed I would be.
With your help I can be myself,
Because you love me exactly as I am.

Amen.

A printable copy of the Prayer to Be My True Self is available here.

Themes

• Created by God: Each person is made by God with care and love. He does not make mistakes. We are invited to accept ourselves as His creation.
• God’s Purpose for Us: God gives each person unique gifts. These gifts are meant to be used in the world. We honor Him when we live out His plan.
• True Friendship Matters: Real friends accept us as we are. They do not ask us to hide or pretend. Friendship built on truth is lasting.
• Dangers of Gossip: Gossip can hurt others and damage trust. Sometimes it is used to gain attention or approval. God calls us to speak with kindness.
• Value Beyond Popularity: Popularity fades quickly. It cannot bring lasting peace or joy. God’s love gives us real worth.
• Imitating Christ’s Example: Jesus stayed true to His mission. He did not seek the approval of crowds. We are called to follow His way.
• Renewing Our Minds: Scripture calls us to be transformed in Christ. This means rejecting false images and lies. We grow by seeking God’s truth.
• Authentic Christian Living: Living as our real selves honors God. It allows others to see His work in us. Hiding who we are blocks His light.
• Freedom in God’s Love: When we stop chasing popularity, we find freedom. We no longer feel the pressure to act fake. God’s love is enough.
• Building the Body of Christ: Each person’s gifts add to the Church. We are stronger when we all share our true selves. Together we reflect God’s design.
• Courage to Be Real: It takes bravery to be yourself. People may not always understand or approve. With God’s help, we can stand firm.

Background Material

Popularity is something that many young people think about every day. It can feel important to be noticed, liked, or included by friends. But Catholic teaching reminds us that our worth does not come from popularity. It comes from God, who made us in His image. When we forget this, we may try to hide our true selves to gain approval from others. This can lead us away from the person God created us to be.

The Bible shows us again and again that God looks at the heart, not the outside. In 1 Samuel 16:7 we read, “The Lord does not see as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” This tells us that what people think of us is not as important as who we are in God’s eyes. God values honesty, kindness, and faith. These are not things that can be measured by popularity.

Jesus also taught His followers not to worry about fitting in with the world. In John 15:18-19 He says, “If the world hates you, realize that it hated me first… you do not belong to the world, and I have chosen you out of the world.” Jesus Himself was often rejected by people who cared more about power and appearances. Yet He stayed true to His mission. He did not change who He was to be accepted. His example shows us that being faithful to God is more important than being liked by everyone.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church reminds us that each of us has been created with purpose. In section 1700 it says, “The dignity of the human person is rooted in his creation in the image and likeness of God. (CCC 1700)” This means our dignity and value do not come from popularity, money, or success. They come from being God’s children. When we pretend to be someone else, we hide the truth of that dignity.

Catholic teaching also encourages us to be transformed in Christ. In Romans 12:2 we hear, “Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” This is a reminder not to chase after trends or approval that will fade away. Instead, we should focus on growing closer to God. By living as our authentic selves, we open our lives to His plan and His joy.

This lesson connects with the call to holiness that the Church teaches. Holiness is not about being popular or perfect in the world’s eyes. It is about being faithful to God in our daily lives. Young people can practice holiness by being honest, treating others with respect, and trusting that God loves them as they are. The saints are examples of this. Many of them were not popular in their time. Some were even mocked or rejected. Yet they lived true to their faith and are now remembered as models of courage and authenticity.

In the end, Catholic teaching points us to the truth that God made us for love, not for popularity. Our deepest joy comes from living as the people He created us to be. When we choose authenticity over pretending, we live in freedom. We become the sons and daughters God intended, and we show His light to the world.

Music Suggestions

• Remind Me Who I Am by Jason Gray
• Glorify Him by Your Life by Lorraine Hess
• Sometimes by Step by Rich Mullins
• Hold Us Together by Matt Maher