Why Comparing Is Dangerous

Better or Worse?

This is a simple icebreaker to help your group relax and get talking. It works best with groups sitting in a circle. You’ll be reading out fun or silly situations and asking youth to respond with whether they think it’s “better” or “worse” than the one before. It gets people laughing and thinking about how quickly we compare things—even when it doesn’t really matter.

Start by giving a funny or random situation, like “Stepping in gum.” The next person must say if their situation is “better” or “worse” than that. For example, they might say “Losing a sock in the laundry—better.” Keep going around the circle, letting each person come up with a new comparison. You can also prepare a list of situations ahead of time if the group needs help thinking of examples.

Sample Situations to Get Started:

• Getting rained on without an umbrella
• Dropping your phone
• Eating cold pizza
• Forgetting your homework
• Waking up late
• Tripping in front of people
• Getting a surprise day off school

Follow-Up Questions for the Group:
Why do you think it’s so easy to compare everything—even silly stuff?
Do you think people compare more for fun or out of habit?
How does this kind of comparing show up in real life?

That was fun—and kind of silly! But think about how quickly we jumped into comparing. Is this better? Is that worse? We do it all the time without even realizing it. It’s part of how we talk, how we think, and sometimes even how we see ourselves and others.

Now imagine how often we do this in more serious ways. We might compare grades, clothes, looks, friends, talents—even faith. Sometimes we feel like we’re not good enough. Other times, we feel like we’re better than someone else. Either way, comparing can mess with our hearts.

Jesus knew this, and He told a story about two people who went to pray. One man compared himself to others. The other man didn’t. Let’s listen to that story now and see what Jesus wants us to learn about comparing, prayer, and how God really sees us.

Read Luke 18:9-14 (A Pharisee Compares Himself to a Tax Collector), the Gospel for the 30th Sunday in Ordinary Time Year C

Jesus addressed this parable to those who were convinced of their own righteousness and despised everyone else.

“Two people went up to the temple area to pray; one was a Pharisee and the other was a tax collector.

The Pharisee took up his position and spoke this prayer to himself, ‘O God, I thank you that I am not like the rest of humanity — greedy, dishonest, adulterous — or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week, and I pay tithes on my whole income.’

But the tax collector stood off at a distance and would not even raise his eyes to heaven but beat his breast and prayed, ‘O God, be merciful to me a sinner.’

I tell you, the latter went home justified, not the former; for whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

Luke 18:9-14

Let’s take a closer look at the story Jesus told in Luke 18:9-14. It might seem simple, but it speaks directly to something we all face—comparing ourselves to others. Jesus told this parable for a reason. He wanted to help people understand how dangerous it is to think we’re better than someone else. He also wanted to show how much God values honesty and humility.

Think about the Pharisee in this story. He stood up and prayed out loud about how great he was. He listed all the good things he did—fasting, giving money, following the rules. But then he did something worse. He said, “Thank you, God, that I’m not like other people,” and even pointed to the tax collector as an example. He was using his prayer to brag. He wasn’t really talking to God with a humble heart. He was trying to look good.

Now think about the tax collector. He didn’t even look up. He stood far off and said only one thing: “God, be merciful to me, a sinner.” That was it. No big speech. No comparing. Just a simple, honest prayer. And Jesus says that he is the one who went home “justified.” That means he was made right with God. He wasn’t perfect, but he was honest.

Let’s talk about comparing. Why do you think it’s so easy to fall into that trap? Maybe you’ve looked at someone else and thought, “At least I’m not like that person.” Or maybe you’ve felt bad because someone else seems smarter, more popular, better-looking, or more talented. Comparison goes both ways. It can make us feel proud, or it can make us feel like we’re not good enough.

Can you think of a time when you felt better than someone else? What was going on in your heart at that moment? Or maybe think about a time when you felt worse than someone else. How did that feel? Most of the time, comparing just makes us feel empty inside. It doesn’t bring us closer to God. It doesn’t help us love others better. It just creates space for pride, jealousy, and sadness.

The Pharisee focused on other people’s sins. He didn’t look at his own heart. The tax collector did the opposite. He wasn’t thinking about other people at all. He knew he needed God’s mercy, and that’s what he asked for. That’s what made the difference.

God doesn’t want us to pretend to be something we’re not. He doesn’t want us to brag about how good we are. He just wants us to come to Him as we are. He already knows everything about us. What He’s really looking for is honesty and humility.

Also, remember this: your relationship with God is personal. It’s not a contest. It’s not about being better than the person next to you. You don’t have to pray like someone else. You don’t have to have the same gifts as someone else. God made you unique. He’s walking with you on your own path.

So what does this parable teach us about how God sees us? It shows us that He values the heart more than actions done to impress others. He wants us to be real with Him. When we admit we need Him, when we stop pretending, that’s when we grow closer to Him.

Take a moment to think: Are there times when you compare yourself to others in prayer, at school, on social media, or even at church? What would it look like to stop that habit and just be yourself before God?

This story is an invitation. Jesus is telling us, “Come to Me as you are. Don’t worry about being better than anyone else. Just be honest. Just be humble. I will meet you there.”

When you break into small groups, remind the youth that this is a space to listen and share respectfully. They don’t need to have the perfect answer. The goal is to reflect together and be honest. Encourage them not to interrupt and to give everyone a chance to speak. Let them know it’s okay to pass if they’re not ready to talk.

• What part of the story stood out to you the most? Why?
• Have you ever felt like the Pharisee in this story—thinking you were better than someone else?
• Have you ever felt like the tax collector—feeling ashamed or unworthy?
• Why do you think it’s hard to stop comparing ourselves to others?
• Where do you see comparison happening most often in your life?
• How does comparing yourself to others affect your relationship with God?
• How would it feel to let go of comparison and focus just on your own walk with God?
• What do you think it means to pray with honesty?
• What are some ways we can practice humility in our daily lives?
• How can we help each other grow in faith without comparing ourselves?

This week, pay attention to the moments when you compare yourself to someone else. It might happen when you’re scrolling through social media, sitting in class, playing sports, or even during church. When you catch yourself thinking things like “I wish I was like them” or “At least I’m better than that person,” stop and say this simple prayer: “God, help me see myself and others through your eyes.” This short prayer is a way to invite God into your thoughts and help shift your focus from comparison to truth.

After you pray, try to thank God for one good thing in your own life. It could be something small or something big. Just focus on what God is doing in you—not in anyone else. This helps build a grateful heart instead of one filled with jealousy or pride. The more you practice this, the more peace you’ll feel, and the closer you’ll grow to God.

Let’s take a moment to quiet our hearts and pray together. You can close your eyes if that helps you focus. Take a deep breath and remember that God is with us right now, listening with love.

Jesus, you see our hearts. You know our thoughts, our struggles, and our hopes. You love us just as we are—no matter what we’ve done, no matter how we feel.

Help us to stop comparing ourselves to others. Remind us that we don’t have to be like anyone else to be loved by you. You made each of us on purpose, and you are walking with us every step of the way.

Teach us to be humble. Help us to admit when we need you. Show us how to look at ourselves with honesty, and not to pretend we have it all together.

Help us to be honest in our prayers, like the tax collector in the story. We don’t need fancy words or perfect lives. We just need open hearts.

Jesus, help us to trust in your mercy. When we fall, help us get back up. When we feel weak, be our strength. When we feel unworthy, remind us of your love.

Thank you for hearing our prayers. Thank you for seeing the real us—and loving us anyway.

Amen.

Themes for the Why Comparing Is Dangerous Lesson Plan

• Pride vs. Humility: The Pharisee was proud and looked down on others. The tax collector was humble and honest with God. Jesus teaches that God lifts up the humble.
• God Sees the Heart: People often judge by outside things. God cares about what is in our hearts. Honest prayer matters more than showing off.
• Dangers of Judgment: The Pharisee judged others instead of looking at himself. This made him blind to his own faults. Jesus warns us not to do the same.
• Honest Prayer Matters: The tax collector told God the truth about himself. God listened to his simple and humble words. We don’t need fancy prayers—just honest ones.
• Stop Trying to Impress: The Pharisee tried to impress God with his actions. But God wants love, not a performance. Our good works should come from the heart.
• Mercy for the Sinner: The tax collector asked for mercy and received it. God forgives those who admit they need help. No one is too far from God’s love.
• Comparing Hurts Others: When we compare, we often feel better or worse than someone else. This can lead to pride or jealousy. It hurts relationships and pushes people away.
• Self-Worth Comes from God: We don’t need to measure ourselves by others. Our value comes from being children of God. He loves each of us as we are.
• Faith Is Not a Contest: Being close to God is not about being better than others. It’s about growing in love, truth, and trust. We all walk at our own pace.
• Avoiding Spiritual Pride: Spiritual pride is when we think we’re holier than others. This is dangerous and blocks our growth. True holiness is humble and gentle.
• Jesus Lifts Up the Lowly: All through the Gospels, Jesus cares for the poor and humble. He blesses those who admit their need. He brings them close to His heart.

Background Material for the Why Comparing Is Dangerous Lesson Plan

The lesson “Why Comparing Is Dangerous” is rooted in the teachings of Jesus and supported by Catholic tradition. The story of the Pharisee and the tax collector in Luke 18:9-14 is a clear example of how harmful it is to compare ourselves to others in matters of faith. Jesus tells this parable to warn people who trust in their own goodness and look down on others. The Pharisee in the story thanks God that he is not like other people. The tax collector, on the other hand, humbly asks for mercy. Jesus says the humble man is the one who is right with God.

This fits with many parts of Catholic teaching. The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches that humility is the foundation of prayer. It says, “Humility is the foundation of prayer. Only when we humbly acknowledge that ‘we do not know how to pray as we ought,’ are we ready to receive freely the gift of prayer” (CCC 2559). The tax collector shows this kind of humility. He does not pretend to be better than others. He knows he is a sinner and trusts in God’s mercy.

Comparing ourselves to others often leads to pride or envy. Pride makes us think we are better than others. Envy makes us sad when others have something we don’t. Both can damage our relationship with God. The Pharisee’s pride caused him to miss the point of prayer. He wasn’t talking to God with love. He was focused on showing off. The Church teaches that pride is one of the seven deadly sins because it pulls us away from God.

In 2 Corinthians 10:12, St. Paul warns against comparing ourselves with others: “When they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.” Paul reminds us that our goal is not to be better than others, but to follow Christ. Each person is on a different journey. What matters is our own relationship with God, not how we measure up against someone else.

The Church also teaches that every person is made in the image of God. We each have dignity and worth that does not depend on our talents, looks, or achievements. When we compare, we forget this truth. We might think we are not good enough, or we might think others are not good enough. Either way, we stop seeing people the way God sees them.

Jesus often lifted up the humble. He praised people who knew they needed God. The saints are great examples of this. Many of them spoke about how weak they were, yet how much they trusted in God’s grace. St. Thérèse of Lisieux said, “It is enough to recognize one’s nothingness and to abandon oneself as a child in the arms of God.” She did not try to compare her holiness to others. She simply gave her heart to God.

This lesson helps youth understand that true faith is not a competition. God wants honesty, humility, and trust. When we stop comparing and start focusing on our own walk with God, we grow in peace and joy.

Music Suggestions for the Why Comparing Is Dangerous Lesson Plan

• Come to Jesus by Josh Blakesley & Sarah Hart
• Your Grace Is Enough by Matt Maher
• From the Inside Out by Hillsong UNITED
• Christ Be Our Light by Bernadette Farrell

More Youth Ministry Lesson Plans and Reflections

If you’re looking for more free lesson plans and reflections for Catholic youth ministry, visit our Youth Ministry Lesson Plans and Reflections page. You’ll find a variety of topics, each with Scripture readings, discussion questions, activities, and prayers. These resources are designed to help youth connect their faith to everyday life.

Whether you’re planning a youth group meeting, a religious education class, or a retreat, these materials can support your work. Explore the collection to find lessons that fit your group’s needs.