Pay Attention to Somebody You Normally Avoid

Lent is a special season in the Church. It’s a time for prayer, fasting, and penance. We turn back to God, trying to grow closer to Him. Lent invites us to make changes in our hearts and in our lives. Part of that change means loving God more, and also loving our neighbors more deeply. Loving others as God does is one of the greatest challenges and also one of the greatest gifts of our faith.

Each of us has people we’d rather avoid. Maybe someone annoys us or makes us feel uncomfortable. Maybe there’s someone who is hard to be around, or maybe we just don’t want to be seen with them. Avoiding certain people can feel easier, but this habit often leads us away from God’s love. Lent is a time to examine our actions and habits. Why do we turn away from certain people? And what would happen if, just for Lent, we chose to treat them differently?

Seeing others as God sees them can change our hearts. In Scripture, we hear how God loves each person, even those society tends to ignore or reject. Jesus spent time with everyone—tax collectors, sinners, the poor, and even His enemies. Each of them was made in God’s image and held great value in His eyes. When we choose to see others this way, we open ourselves to God’s love in a new way. We can understand a little more of His mercy, His kindness, and His patience.

This Lent, try a different kind of journey. Choose someone you would usually avoid. Speak with them. Listen to them. Get to know them as a person, and maybe you’ll begin to see God’s image in them. This act of reaching out is a small sacrifice but can bring great spiritual rewards. Through these conversations, we may just find a path that brings us closer to God.

We all have reasons for avoiding certain people. Sometimes, someone just annoys us. Maybe they talk too much, or maybe they always complain. Other times, we might be worried about what others think. We avoid certain people because we’re afraid of being judged or misunderstood. Sometimes, we stay away from people simply because they are different from us. When someone is unfamiliar, it can feel uncomfortable to spend time with them.

These reasons can seem harmless, but often they come from something deeper inside us. When we avoid others, it can be because of pride—we think we are better than they are. Sometimes, insecurity plays a part; we may worry too much about how we look to others. A lack of charity is also common. When we fail to see people with love, we let our selfishness close us off from them. These are real barriers, and they keep us from treating others with the kindness and respect they deserve.

Lent is a good time to ask ourselves why we avoid certain people. Are we letting fear or pride control us? Are we unwilling to step out of our comfort zone? Taking a close look at these reasons helps us to grow. When we understand our motives, we can ask God to help us overcome them. This honest self-examination can make us more humble and willing to change.

Seeing these tendencies in ourselves is hard. But acknowledging them is the first step toward growing in humility. It is a chance to start fresh. When we stop avoiding people, we open up to God’s grace and mercy. We let go of the things that hold us back, and we make room for real love in our hearts.

In Genesis 1:27, we learn that God created each person in His image and likeness. This is a central belief in our faith. It means that every single person has dignity and worth because they reflect something of God Himself. The Catechism says, “Being in the image of God, the human individual possesses the dignity of a person” (CCC 357). This dignity is not something we earn or lose—it is given to each of us by God.

Understanding this can change the way we see others, especially those who are difficult to love. When we remember that everyone bears God’s image, we start to see people differently. Even the person who annoys us or makes us uncomfortable is precious in God’s eyes. Recognizing their dignity can help us be more patient, compassionate, and open to others. We may find ourselves caring about people we would have ignored before.

Jesus showed us what this looks like. He spent time with people others avoided, like tax collectors, sinners, and lepers. These people were often treated as outcasts, but Jesus welcomed them. He saw their dignity and reminded them of their worth. His example teaches us to look beyond our own judgments and fears. Jesus showed us that every person deserves respect, love, and kindness because they are loved by God.

Each time we meet someone, we have a chance to grow in love. Seeing God’s image in others is a powerful way to deepen our faith. It can help us break down barriers of pride and fear. This Lent, we can ask God to help us see each person as He does. When we do this, we make room for God’s love to work in our hearts and lives. We learn to see Him in the face of every person we meet.

Building connections with people we usually avoid can start with simple steps. Sometimes, all it takes is a small gesture—a friendly greeting, a smile, or a brief, kind conversation. These small acts can show others that we see them and care about them. A smile or kind word can make someone feel valued and noticed, and it’s an easy way to begin reaching out.

Listening is another powerful way to connect. When we take time to listen to someone’s story, we begin to understand their struggles, joys, and viewpoints. Try to listen with full attention, without interrupting or judging. This helps us see the person beyond any assumptions we may have had. Just listening to someone’s story can make a big difference in how we understand them.

There may be times when connecting feels hard. If someone frustrates us, we can take a moment to pray for patience and peace. In these moments, try to focus on what is good in the other person. Remember that each person has something unique and good within them because they are made by God. Praying for the other person can also change our own hearts, helping us to be more open and loving.

Many saints showed us how to reach out to people others ignored. St. Francis of Assisi embraced lepers, even though people feared them. St. Teresa of Calcutta cared for the poorest and most rejected, seeing Christ in them. Their actions remind us that every person deserves love and respect. When we follow their example, even in small ways, we begin to grow in love and compassion. These small steps can open our hearts and bring us closer to God.

Reaching out to those we usually avoid can be a powerful act of love. In a way, it is a form of almsgiving. Almsgiving is not just about giving money or things; it’s about giving of ourselves. When we give our time, attention, and kindness to someone we overlook, we are sharing God’s love with them. This is a gift that often costs us something, but it also helps us grow spiritually.

Spending time with challenging people can teach us about God’s love and mercy. We may see parts of ourselves in others—their struggles, their fears, or their hopes. This can remind us of how patient God is with us, even in our weaknesses. By showing mercy to others, we reflect God’s own mercy and become more aware of His love for each person.

Each time we talk to someone we would usually avoid, we have a chance to practice humility, patience, and compassion. These are virtues that bring us closer to God. Humility helps us see others as equal to ourselves. Patience helps us accept others as they are, without trying to change them. Compassion helps us see their suffering and want to bring them comfort. Every conversation is a chance to grow in these virtues.

Spending time with people on the margins can also reveal things about our own hearts. We become more aware of our judgments, fears, and limits. This self-awareness is a gift from God because it helps us see where we need to grow. By reaching out to those we avoid, we open ourselves to a deeper relationship with God, learning to love as He loves. Through these simple acts, we invite God to transform our hearts, drawing us closer to Him.

Why should I try to spend time with someone I usually avoid?

Spending time with people we avoid helps us grow in patience, kindness, and humility. It’s a way to practice seeing God’s image in everyone. It can teach us to love others as God loves us.

What if I feel uncomfortable around this person?

Feeling uncomfortable is normal. Start with small gestures, like a smile or a friendly “hello.” Try to see the person as someone valuable to God. Sometimes, pushing past discomfort is a step toward spiritual growth.

How can I make a good first step?

Begin with simple acts, like greeting the person or asking how they are. You can also just listen to them if they start talking. Small acts of kindness can help build a bridge and open up a chance to connect.

What if the person doesn’t respond well?

If they don’t respond positively, don’t take it personally. Show kindness anyway, and pray for patience. This is a learning experience in humility and love. Sometimes it takes time for others to respond warmly.

How will this benefit my spiritual life?

Reaching out to others can help us grow in compassion and understand God’s mercy better. It helps us see beyond our own judgments. This kind of love and patience brings us closer to God and helps us understand His love.

Do I need to keep doing this after Lent?

It’s a great habit to carry beyond Lent. Seeing every person as worthy of kindness can become part of our daily lives. Small acts of kindness can make a big difference, both for others and for our own hearts.

Reaching out to people we usually avoid is a small but meaningful way to grow in love. Lent is a season that invites us to make sacrifices, and one of the most powerful sacrifices can be our time and attention. By intentionally spending time with someone we tend to overlook or avoid, we learn to see God’s image in others. This practice can teach us about patience, humility, and compassion. We start to recognize that each person, no matter how challenging, has dignity and worth.

This journey is not only about helping others feel seen or valued; it’s about letting God work in our hearts. Interacting with those we might find difficult or uncomfortable helps us discover aspects of God’s mercy and love. We learn to let go of pride, judgment, or fear, making room for grace. The effort we put into these relationships helps us grow closer to God, who calls us to love others as He does.

As Lent ends, we can carry this lesson forward. Every person we meet is an opportunity to practice kindness and love. We can choose to see each person as a gift from God, worthy of our respect and attention. May this practice stay with us beyond Lent, opening our hearts to a greater love that reflects God’s own.

This Lent, try reaching out to someone you’d usually avoid. Start with simple gestures—a smile, a conversation, or just listening. It’s a small way to grow in love and to see God’s image in everyone. Take a chance to discover the hidden gifts in each person.

Share your experience with others in the comments below. Let’s encourage each other on this journey of love and kindness.