Choosing Faith When Friends Disagree

Sticky Choices Challenge

Before the session, place several paper plates or trays on a table. Cover each plate with whipped cream. Hide one wrapped piece of candy inside each plate. On small slips of paper, write silly social pressure situations teenagers might face. Examples could include “Pretend to laugh at a joke you do not understand,” “Wear socks on your hands for one minute,” “Talk like a pirate during the next round,” or “Sing part of a cartoon theme song.” Fold the slips and place them in a bowl.

Choose volunteers to come to the front. Each player draws a slip from the bowl and decides whether to complete the challenge or refuse it. If they complete it, they earn one point. If they refuse, they must search for the hidden candy in the whipped cream using only their face, with no hands allowed. Once they find the candy, they earn one point. Continue with several rounds and different players. Keep the mood light and funny. Have towels and wipes ready because this game will get messy.

The point of the game is not winning. It is about reacting to pressure, making choices, and deciding whether to follow along with what others expect. Some youth will happily do the silly challenges. Others will avoid them. Some may feel awkward being watched by the group. Let the humor help everyone relax before moving into the deeper discussion.

Follow Up Questions

• What was harder: doing the silly challenge or digging through the whipped cream?
• Did you care what other people thought while you were deciding?
• Did anyone choose something just because the group was watching?
• Have you ever felt pressure in real life to act a certain way so people would accept you?
• Was it easier to make choices when everyone was laughing and relaxed?

Sometimes it is easy to go along with a crowd, especially when we do not want to feel awkward or different. Most people want to fit in. Nobody likes feeling embarrassed or left out. But real life pressures are usually more serious than whipped cream and silly dares. Every day, people face choices about how they will act, what they will say, and whether they will stand up for what is right.

As followers of Jesus, we all face moments when our faith and values may not match what other people expect from us. Friends, classmates, social media, and even popular trends can pressure us to stay quiet or follow along. Sometimes it feels easier to blend in than to make a different choice. That struggle is something Jesus understood very well.

In today’s Gospel from Matthew 10:37-42, Jesus talks honestly about the challenges of following him. He reminds his disciples that faith is important enough to come before popularity, comfort, or approval from others. As we listen to this scripture, think about the kinds of pressure young people face today and what it means to stay faithful even when it is difficult.

Read Matthew 10:37-42 (True Worthiness), the Gospel for the 13th Sunday in Ordinary Time Year A

Jesus said to his apostles: “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and whoever does not take up his cross and follow after me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”

“Whoever receives you receives me, and whoever receives me receives the one who sent me. Whoever receives a prophet because he is a prophet will receive a prophet’s reward, and whoever receives a righteous man because he is a righteous man will receive a righteous man’s reward. And whoever gives only a cup of cold water to one of these little ones to drink because the little one is a disciple – amen, I say to you, he will surely not lose his reward.”

Following Jesus is not always easy, especially when the people around you do not understand your faith. In this Gospel passage, Jesus says some difficult things to his disciples. He tells them that following him must come first. He also talks about carrying a cross and losing your life for his sake. These words can sound confusing or even a little scary at first. But Jesus is helping his followers understand that faith is not just something private or comfortable. Faith changes the way we live, the choices we make, and the way we treat other people.

For many middle school and high school students, one of the hardest parts of faith is dealing with disagreement from friends. Most people want to fit in. You want your friends to like you. You want to feel accepted. That is completely normal. But sometimes following Jesus means making choices that are different from the crowd.

Maybe your friends think religion is pointless. Maybe they make jokes about church or prayer. Maybe they pressure you to do things you know are wrong. You might hear people gossiping, bullying others online, or making fun of someone who is different. In those moments, it can feel easier to stay quiet and go along with everyone else. Nobody likes feeling left out.

Jesus understands that pressure. When he talks about “taking up your cross,” he is not only talking about huge suffering. Sometimes carrying your cross means doing the right thing when it is unpopular. It can mean standing up for someone who is being treated badly. It can mean refusing to cheat even when others are doing it. It can mean not joining in when people spread rumors or post cruel comments online.

Sometimes carrying your cross means being open about your faith. Maybe you make the Sign of the Cross before eating lunch. Maybe you choose to go to Mass even when your friends want to do something else. Maybe you invite a friend to youth group or say that you believe prayer matters. Those things may seem small, but they take courage when you are worried about what other people might think.

The good news is that Jesus never asks you to do this alone. He stays with you in those difficult moments. He knows how hard it is to stand apart from the crowd. Jesus himself was rejected, laughed at, and misunderstood. Because of that, he understands what it feels like when people disagree with you or make you feel different.

It is also important to remember that following Jesus does not mean being rude or acting like you are better than everyone else. Sometimes Christians think standing up for faith means arguing all the time. But Jesus calls us to love people, even when we disagree with them. You can be kind, respectful, and patient while still staying true to your beliefs. In fact, people are often more influenced by kindness and honesty than by arguments.

This Gospel also reminds us that small acts matter. Jesus talks about giving a cup of cold water to one of his followers. That sounds simple, but Jesus says even small acts of care are important to God. Your small choices matter too. Smiling at someone who feels left out, helping a classmate, inviting someone to sit with you, or checking on a friend who is struggling are all ways of living your faith.

You may not realize how much your example can affect other people. Sometimes another student is looking for someone who has the courage to do the right thing first. Your choices might encourage someone else to pray, speak kindly, or stand up for what is right. Even quiet faith can make a difference.

There may still be times when following Jesus feels difficult. You may lose friendships or feel misunderstood. But Jesus promises that staying close to him is worth it. He sees every effort you make. He sees the moments when you choose kindness instead of cruelty, honesty instead of cheating, and faith instead of fear.

Being a disciple is not about being perfect. You will still make mistakes. Everyone does. What matters is continuing to follow Jesus even when it is hard. Every day gives you another chance to choose courage, kindness, and faith. Jesus is asking you to trust him enough to keep going, even when friends disagree or the crowd moves in a different direction.

Divide the youth into small groups of four to six people. Encourage everyone to listen respectfully and allow each person a chance to speak. Remind the group that nobody should feel forced to share personal experiences if they are uncomfortable. The goal is to create honest conversation about faith, friendships, and daily choices. Facilitators should help keep the discussion welcoming and focused while making sure quieter youth also have opportunities to participate.

• Have you ever felt pressure to hide your faith or beliefs? What happened?
• Why do you think people sometimes stay quiet when they know something is wrong?
• What do you think Jesus means when he says to “take up your cross”?
• What are some situations at school or online where it can be difficult to follow Jesus?
• How can friends influence the choices we make, both positively and negatively?
• Have you ever seen someone stand up for what was right even when it was unpopular?
• Why is it sometimes hard to be different from the crowd?
• What are some small ways young people can live their faith every day?
• How can you disagree with friends while still treating them with kindness and respect?
• What do you think Jesus means when he says whoever loses their life for his sake will find it?
• Who are people in your life who encourage you to stay close to God?
• What are some practical ways our youth group or class can support each other in faith?
• What is one situation in your life right now where you need courage to follow Jesus more closely?
• What does this Gospel passage teach you about what really matters in life?

This week, try to make one choice each day that puts your faith ahead of fitting in. It does not need to be something dramatic. You could refuse to join in gossip, speak kindly to someone others ignore, or be honest in a situation where cheating or lying would be easier. You could also take one small step to show your faith openly, like praying before meals, wearing a cross, inviting a friend to youth group, or spending a few minutes in prayer each night. Pay attention to moments when you feel pressure to follow the crowd and ask Jesus to help you choose what is right instead.

Also, try to encourage someone else during the week. Jesus talks about giving even a cup of cold water to one of his followers. Small acts matter. Send a kind text to a friend who is struggling, sit with someone who seems left out, or thank a person who helps others quietly. These simple actions may not seem important, but they are ways of living your faith in daily life. At the end of the week, take a few minutes to think about which choices were easy and which ones were difficult. Ask yourself how Jesus was with you during those moments.

Invite the youth to quiet themselves for a moment. Encourage them to place before God any worries, pressures, or situations where it is hard to follow Jesus.

Lord Jesus, sometimes it is hard to follow you. We want people to like us and accept us. We do not always know what to say or do when others disagree with our faith. Thank you for staying with us even in those moments. Help us remember that we are never alone.

Give us courage to do what is right, even when it is difficult. Help us choose kindness instead of cruelty, honesty instead of cheating, and faith instead of fear. Teach us to care for others in small ways each day. Help us notice people who feel left out, lonely, or hurt.

Lord, help us trust you more than we trust popularity or approval from others. When we feel pressure to follow the crowd, remind us that you are leading us on a better path. Help us carry our crosses with patience and love.

We pray for our friends, classmates, families, and everyone in this group. Help us encourage one another and grow stronger in faith together. Show us how to welcome others with the same love you give to us.

We ask this in the name of Christ our Lord. Amen.

Themes

• Following Jesus First: Jesus teaches that faith should guide our choices and actions. Catholics believe that loving God comes before popularity or approval from others. This helps young people think about what matters most in life.
• Daily Christian Courage: Young people often face pressure to fit in. This lesson encourages them to stand up for what is right even when it feels uncomfortable. Courage is an important part of Christian life.
• Carrying The Cross: Jesus tells his followers to take up their cross. Catholics understand this as accepting struggles and difficulties while staying faithful. Youth learn that faith is not always easy, but Jesus walks with them.
• Small Acts Of Love: Jesus speaks about giving a cup of cold water to someone in need. Small acts of kindness matter to God. Young people can live their faith through simple daily actions.
• Christian Friendship Choices: Friends can influence both good and bad decisions. This lesson helps youth think carefully about the people who shape their choices. Catholics are called to build friendships that encourage goodness and faith.
• Respecting Other People: Following Jesus does not mean treating others badly. Catholics are called to show kindness and respect even when disagreements happen. This lesson encourages peaceful and caring relationships.
• Living Faith Publicly: Faith is not only private. Catholics are called to live their beliefs openly through words and actions. Young people are encouraged to practice faith in daily life.
• Welcoming Other Disciples: Jesus teaches that welcoming his followers is like welcoming him. Catholics believe community and hospitality are important parts of discipleship. Youth learn to support and encourage one another.
• Choosing Right Over Easy: Doing the right thing is sometimes difficult. This lesson helps youth think about honesty, kindness, and integrity. Catholics believe moral choices shape our relationship with God and others.
• Trusting Jesus Daily: Jesus asks his followers to trust him even during difficult moments. Catholics believe Christ stays close to people in struggles and challenges. Youth are reminded they do not face pressure alone.
• Serving Others Humbly: Catholics are called to serve without seeking praise or attention. This lesson encourages quiet acts of care and generosity. Young people learn that service is an important way to follow Jesus.
• Faith In Real Life: The Gospel connects to school, friendships, social media, and family life. Catholics believe faith should shape everyday actions and decisions. This lesson helps youth see how Scripture applies to their own experiences.
• Christian Community Support: Faith grows stronger when believers support one another. Youth ministry and catechesis help young people encourage each other in discipleship. This lesson reminds youth that the Church walks with them.
• Identity In Christ: Many teens struggle with wanting acceptance from others. Catholics believe true identity comes from being loved by God. This lesson encourages youth to find confidence in Christ instead of popularity.

Background Material

This lesson plan connects strongly to Catholic teaching about discipleship, courage, and daily Christian living. In Matthew 10:37-42, Jesus tells his followers that faith must come before comfort, popularity, or approval from others. These words can sound difficult at first, but they are part of Jesus’ call to true discipleship. Catholics believe that following Jesus shapes every part of life, including friendships, choices, and behavior.

Young people often face pressure to fit in with friends or social groups. This lesson helps youth think about those struggles in light of the Gospel. Jesus tells his disciples to “take up his cross and follow after me” (Matthew 10:38). Catholics understand this as a call to stay faithful even when life becomes difficult or uncomfortable. Carrying the cross does not always mean dramatic suffering. Often it means choosing honesty, kindness, and faithfulness in ordinary situations.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches that following Jesus requires commitment and courage. It says, “The way of perfection passes by way of the Cross. There is no holiness without renunciation and spiritual battle” (CCC 2015). This reminds Catholics that discipleship is not always easy. Young people need help understanding that faith sometimes requires sacrifice and difficult choices. This lesson encourages them to trust Jesus during those moments.

This lesson also connects to Catholic teaching about human dignity and respect for others. Jesus speaks about welcoming his followers and caring for “little ones.” Catholics believe every person is made in the image of God and deserves love and respect. Even small acts of care matter. Jesus says that giving a cup of cold water to a disciple will not go unnoticed. This helps youth see that simple acts of kindness are important ways of living the Gospel.

The lesson also supports Catholic teaching about Christian community. The Church is meant to be a place where believers encourage and strengthen one another. Young people need supportive friendships and faith communities. Hebrews 10:24-25 encourages Christians to help one another grow in love and good works. Youth ministry, catechesis, and parish life can help teens feel less alone as they try to follow Jesus.

Catholic teaching also reminds believers not to be ashamed of their faith. In Romans 1:16, Saint Paul says, “For I am not ashamed of the gospel.” Young people today often face pressure to hide their beliefs or stay silent about faith. This lesson encourages youth to live their faith openly through actions, kindness, honesty, and courage.

The saints also provide examples of faithful discipleship. Saints like Saint Thomas More, Saint Maria Goretti, and Saint Carlo Acutis stayed faithful even when facing pressure from others. Their lives remind young people that holiness is possible in every age and situation. Youth do not need to be perfect to follow Jesus. They simply need to keep turning toward him each day.

This lesson plan helps youth connect these Catholic teachings to real life. It encourages them to think about daily choices, friendships, and how they respond to pressure. Most importantly, it reminds them that Jesus walks with them and gives them strength to follow him with courage and love.

Music Suggestions

• I Will Follow by Chris Tomlin
• Lead Me Lord by John D. Becker
• Jesus, My Everything by Matt Maher