Opening Game
Start by playing the game “Guide Me to Heaven.” In this game, a leader guides a group of blindfolded players through some obstacles. The goal is for the leader to help the players reach the other side safely by giving them directions. See the complete instructions for Guide Me to Heaven here.
After playing, consider these questions:
- What do you think would have happened if you tried to walk across blindfolded without your leader giving you directions?
- Did your leader make it easier for you to get from one side to the other?
- Do you think the leaders could have guided you if they were also blindfolded?
This game teaches an important lesson about fault finding. In life, we sometimes notice that a friend is about to make a mistake or hurt themselves through their actions. It can be helpful to point out these potential problems to them.
However, before we try to guide others, we must first be aware of our own faults. Just like in the game, if the leader is also blindfolded, it’s hard to help others. The same goes for fault finding; if we are unaware of our own issues, we cannot effectively help others with theirs.
We all need help navigating life sometimes. Recognizing our own weaknesses helps us to be more understanding and compassionate when others face challenges. Before pointing out someone else’s mistakes, we should first examine our own lives.
This self-awareness helps us avoid hypocrisy and makes our advice more meaningful. It’s important to remember that, just like the game, life requires guidance. But that guidance must come from someone who sees clearly, both in their actions and intentions. By being aware of our own shortcomings, we can better help our friends and avoid unnecessary fault finding.
Scripture Reading
Read the Gospel:
Luke 6:39-45 (Remove the beam from your eye) – the Gospel Reading for the 8th Sunday in Ordinary Time – Year C
Jesus told his disciples a parable, “Can a blind person guide a blind person? Will not both fall into a pit?
No disciple is superior to the teacher; but when fully trained, every disciple will be like his teacher.
Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own? How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me remove that splinter in your eye,’ when you do not even notice the wooden beam in your own eye? You hypocrite! Remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter in your brother’s eye.
“A good tree does not bear rotten fruit, nor does a rotten tree bear good fruit. For every tree is known by its own fruit. For people do not pick figs from thornbushes, nor do they gather grapes from brambles. A good person out of the store of goodness in his heart produces good, but an evil person out of a store of evil produces evil; for from the fullness of the heart the mouth speaks.”Luke 6:39-45
Discussion
Imagine you’re at school, and you notice your friend is wearing a hat that looks really ridiculous. Wanting to help, you say, “That hat looks really bad on you. You should take it off. I’m just trying to be a good friend here.”
To your surprise, your friend responds, “Then why are you wearing the same hat?” That’s when you realize you put on the same hat this morning! It’s an embarrassing moment and seems pretty hypocritical. This situation can make your friend question your advice in the future.
This story illustrates a key lesson Jesus taught about fault finding. He urges us to be aware of our own shortcomings before criticizing others. In Luke 6:41-42, Jesus talks about noticing the speck in your brother’s eye while ignoring the plank in your own. He asks us to first deal with our own flaws. This teaching is about avoiding fault finding and being humble enough to recognize our own faults.
So, how can we become more aware of our own problems before pointing fingers at others? The first step is to remember the times when we haven’t lived up to our values. Reflect on moments when we’ve made mistakes or acted wrongly. We might still carry some of these sins, and it’s important to confront them honestly.
The Sacrament of Reconciliation is a powerful tool in this process. Confession helps us seek forgiveness and start fresh, and it’s not just a one-time thing. We all need to go to confession more than once because we will continue to make mistakes. It’s essential to stop making excuses for ourselves and to acknowledge our need for growth.
Another crucial point is to guard against feelings of smug superiority. If you ever feel like you have everything figured out and the person you’re criticizing does not, it’s usually a sign you’re not being honest with yourself. This mindset puts us on a false pedestal, thinking we’re better than others. It’s important to come down from that pedestal and take a serious look at our own lives. By doing this, we can avoid fault finding and focus on our own growth.
Before you speak, consider whether it’s really necessary to correct the other person. Ask yourself if your intention is to genuinely help them or if you’re just trying to make yourself feel better. Sometimes, we criticize others to boost our self-esteem or to appear knowledgeable in front of others. If your focus is more on yourself than on the well-being of the other person, it’s a clear sign that you need to work on that beam in your own eye first.
Finally, Jesus teaches that our words reflect what’s in our hearts. This means we should always speak to others with kindness and compassion. When you need to address something with someone, start from a place of love and understanding. It’s helpful to admit that you’re not perfect either and that you understand what they’re going through.
Think about the most supportive and loving way to communicate your message. This approach not only avoids fault finding but also builds stronger, more caring relationships. It helps create an environment where everyone feels valued and understood.
Small Group Reflection Questions
In small group discussions, youth will explore the theme of fault finding. Reflect on the importance of being aware of our own flaws before pointing out others’. Discuss how we can apply these lessons in our daily lives and relationships.
- Can you think of a time when you were quick to judge someone else’s actions? How did it make you feel afterward?
- Why is it important to recognize our own faults before pointing out others’ mistakes?
- How do you usually react when someone points out your faults? Do you find it helpful or hurtful?
- How can we give constructive criticism without being harsh or judgmental?
- What are some ways we can help friends who might be making poor choices without coming off as judgmental?
- How can being aware of our own shortcomings make us better friends and listeners?
- What are some practical steps we can take to become more self-aware and avoid fault finding?
- How can we encourage a culture of support and understanding in our group or community?
Focus on how we can apply these lessons to our everyday interactions. Remember, the goal is not only to avoid fault finding but also to build stronger, more supportive relationships. Discuss being more understanding and compassionate with ourselves and others.
Challenge
This week, take a moment before you criticize another person. Pause and think about yourself first. Ask yourself if you have a similar flaw. Reflect on whether pointing out the problem is truly helpful or just makes you feel better. It’s important to be honest with yourself about your intentions. If you’re not sure if it’s necessary to say something, it might be best to stay quiet.
If you do decide to speak, make sure it’s done with love and kindness. Your words should come from a place of care and concern, not judgment. Afterward, take some time to pray for the person. Ask God to help them with their struggles and to give you the wisdom to support them in the best way. This approach not only helps you grow but also strengthens your relationship with the other person.
Prayer
To conclude, gather together and offer petitions, asking God for help and guidance in recognizing our own faults and being more compassionate toward others. Share any specific intentions or requests for strength, understanding, or patience.
After sharing these petitions, pray the Confiteor together, humbly acknowledging our sins and seeking God’s mercy. This prayer helps us to reflect on our shortcomings and ask for forgiveness, while also committing ourselves to avoid fault finding and to grow in love and humility. (See a printable copy of the Confiteor here.)
More Resources
More Youth Ministry Lesson Plans and Reflections
For more information, see https://young-catholics.com/14062/i-cant-see-lesson-plan-on-fault-finding/