What Is Love? Lesson Plan

Start by playing the Love Definitions Icebreaker Game. This is played with the aim of exploring different definitions and perspectives of love, and to open up a discussion on the topic of what is love.

Ask a few questions.

• What are some things you own which you love?
• How much would you be willing to give up for these things?
• Are there things you used to love when you were younger which you don’t love anymore?

We tend to use the word love a lot. We might “love” our new pair of shoes. Or we might “love” the beautiful fall weather. In these cases, our love is an emotional response. And in these cases, we don’t have a lot of choice about what we love either. I might love ice cream, but not love spinach. And no matter how hard I try, I might never love spinach.

When we use love in that context, what we are really talking about something or someone we like very much. Our preferences for one thing over another cause an attraction. And while there is nothing wrong with that, it is not really the kind of love that Jesus often speaks about.

• How do you see the difference between loving and liking?
• Is there something that makes love different?
• So what is love?

Now read Matthew 22:34-40:

When the Pharisees heard that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together, and one of them, a scholar of the law tested him by asking, “Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?”

He said to him, “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment.

The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments.”

Matthew 22:34-40 – the Gospel for the 30th Sunday in Ordinary Time Year A

Let’s talk about what Jesus means when He says we are called to love with our whole being. This kind of love is not just about emotions. It’s not just about having warm, happy feelings toward someone or something. Feelings come and go. They are not always in our control. But the kind of love Jesus talks about is an action. It is something we choose to do. It takes effort, sometimes a lot of effort. Real love is active. It involves giving of ourselves, even when it’s not easy, and even when it costs us something.

Think about what it means to want what is best for someone else. That is what true love is. It’s not always about being close to someone or agreeing with them. Sometimes people hurt us. Maybe a friend betrays you, a classmate spreads rumors about you, or someone says something cruel. Loving them doesn’t mean you pretend the hurt never happened. It doesn’t mean you need to keep them as part of your life if that isn’t healthy. But it does mean you let go of hatred. It means you don’t wish harm on them. Love means praying for them, even if you don’t feel like it. It means refusing to let anger control you. That’s tough, but that’s real love.

Now let’s think through some everyday situations. Loving your family might seem easy most of the time. You share meals, stories, and fun together. But what about when a sibling annoys you, or your parents set rules you don’t like? Love in those moments means respecting them, being patient, and sometimes putting their needs ahead of your own. Loving your friends can feel natural, because you enjoy being with them. But what about when there’s conflict, jealousy, or hurt feelings? Love means forgiving and trying to mend things instead of holding onto bitterness. Loving your teachers may sound strange, but think about it: they spend time and energy helping you learn. Respecting them, listening, and showing gratitude are ways of loving them.

What about harder cases? Think of the homeless person you pass on the street. Do you ignore them, or do you see them as a child of God? Love may look like offering a kind word, a meal, or even just treating them with dignity. Loving your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend may not mean staying close, but it does mean letting go of resentment and wishing them well. And what about the person who gossips about you? That might be the hardest of all. Love here might mean refusing to gossip back, choosing not to seek revenge, and even praying for them. It doesn’t feel natural, but it is what Jesus asks.

Jesus didn’t just talk about love. He showed us. His whole life was about love. He healed the sick, welcomed outcasts, and forgave His enemies. And on the cross, He gave the ultimate example. He laid down His life for us. That is love in action—choosing to sacrifice for the good of others. Most of us won’t be asked to give up our lives, but we are asked to make smaller sacrifices every day. Maybe it’s giving up your pride and saying sorry first. Maybe it’s donating money you planned to spend on yourself to help the poor. Maybe it’s giving your time to listen to a friend who needs support, even when you’d rather do something fun.

These sacrifices might feel small, but they are powerful. Every time we love in this way, we not only help others, we also show our love for God. Remember, every person is His child. When we work for their good, we are honoring Him. That’s why Jesus tells us to love both God and our neighbor. If we say we love God but can’t show love to the people around us, then our words are empty. Love is not just between us and God. It is shown in the way we treat those right in front of us.

So the question is: how will you live out this love? It won’t always be easy, but Jesus promises it is the best way. When we love God with everything we have, and when we love our neighbor as ourselves, we live the life we were made for. That is the kind of love that changes us, and through us, it changes the world.

When you break into small groups, remind everyone that this is a safe place to share. No one has to answer every question. Encourage youth to listen to each other with respect and kindness. Remind them that different people may see things in different ways, and that’s okay. The goal is to think together about what love means and how to live it out.

• What is the difference between liking someone and loving them?
• When is it easy for you to love others? When is it hard?
• How do you show love to your family in everyday life?
• What does it look like to love someone who has hurt you?
• Why do you think Jesus tells us to love both God and our neighbor?
• What is one small sacrifice you can make this week out of love?
• How does showing love to others also show love for God?
• Who in your life right now might need your love, even if it’s difficult?

This week, I want to challenge you to show love in a way that might feel uncomfortable. Think of someone you don’t really get along with. Maybe they annoy you, hurt your feelings, or just aren’t your favorite person to be around. Instead of ignoring them or thinking badly about them, try to do one thing out of love for them. It doesn’t have to be huge. It could be choosing not to talk back when they upset you. It could be saying something kind, even if you don’t feel like it. It could even be as simple as holding back from gossip or negative comments. These small acts may not seem like much, but they are real ways to live out the love Jesus asks of us.

If you can’t think of something to do, then start by praying for that person every day. Ask God to bless them, even if you don’t feel like they deserve it. Prayer changes our hearts and helps us let go of anger or grudges. When we pray for someone, we begin to see them more like God sees them—His child, deeply loved. This challenge isn’t about making you best friends with people you struggle with. It’s about taking a step toward real love, the kind that is active and selfless. By doing this, you’ll grow closer to God and practice the kind of love that makes the world brighter.

Let’s take a moment to quiet our hearts and place ourselves in God’s presence. Close your eyes if that helps you focus. Take a deep breath and remember that God is here with us, listening to us, and loving us.

We have been talking about what it really means to love. Love is more than feelings. It is choosing to want the best for others. It is giving ourselves to God and to one another. Let’s end our time together by praying the Act of Love, asking God to help us live what we have learned.

Pray these words slowly, and make them your own:

O my God, I love you above all things,
with my whole heart and soul,
because you are all good and worthy of all my love.

I love my neighbor as myself for the love of you.

I forgive all who have injured me
and I ask pardon of all whom I have injured.

Amen.

Now take another quiet moment. Think of one person in your life who needs your love this week. Ask God to give you the strength to show love, even if it is hard. Remember, when we love others, we are showing our love for God. May this prayer guide us as we go back into our daily lives, living the love Jesus teaches us.

A printable copy of the Act of Love is available here.

Themes

• Love as Commandment: Jesus teaches that loving God and neighbor is the greatest commandment. This lesson helps youth see love as the foundation of Christian life. It shows that love is not optional but essential.
• Active Love Choices: Love is not just about feelings but about decisions. We show love through actions, even when it is hard. This reminds us that love takes effort and practice.
• Forgiveness and Mercy: Loving others includes forgiving those who hurt us. Holding grudges keeps us away from God. Mercy helps us grow closer to Him.
• Love of Neighbor: Every person is created by God and deserves respect. Showing love to others is a way of honoring God. Even small acts of kindness are part of this.
• Sacrifice for Others: Real love requires giving something up. It might be time, comfort, or pride. These sacrifices help us follow the example of Jesus.
• Love Beyond Feelings: Emotions change, but love is steady. Love is stronger than likes or dislikes. It is about seeking the good of another person.
• Connection to God: Loving people in our lives is connected to our love for God. We cannot separate the two. When we love others, we love Him.
• Service and Action: Love leads us to serve. Helping those in need shows God’s love in the world. This makes faith real and alive.
• Example of Jesus: Jesus gave us the perfect model of love. He lived it every day and gave His life for us. His example calls us to do the same in our own way.
• Growth in Holiness: Choosing love helps us grow as disciples. Each act of love makes us more like Christ. This is how we live out our faith.
• Community and Unity: Love builds strong relationships with others. It helps communities work together in peace. This brings people closer to God and to each other.

Background Material

The lesson plan on What Is Love? connects closely to Catholic teaching because love is at the heart of our faith. Jesus tells us that love is the greatest commandment. When asked which commandment in the law was most important, He replied that we must love God with all our heart, soul, and mind, and also love our neighbor as ourselves (Matthew 22:37-39). This shows that love is not one part of faith. It is the foundation of everything.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church explains this clearly. It says, “Charity is the theological virtue by which we love God above all things for his own sake, and our neighbor as ourselves for the love of God” (CCC 1822). The word charity here means love in action. It is not about liking someone. It is about seeking their good because of our love for God. The Catechism reminds us that this love is not optional. It is a virtue given to us by God and something we must live every day.

Saint Paul also wrote about this in his letters. In 1 Corinthians 13, he explains that love is greater than faith or hope. He says that without love, all other actions and gifts are empty. He describes love as patient and kind, not jealous or proud. This passage is often read at weddings, but it applies to all of life. Paul teaches that love is the way we live as followers of Christ. It shows in our words, choices, and actions.

The Church also teaches that love and justice go hand in hand. The prophets in the Old Testament often spoke about caring for the poor, the stranger, and the outcast. Jesus continued this when He healed the sick, welcomed sinners, and reached out to those who were ignored. The Catechism says, “The practice of all the virtues is animated and inspired by charity, which binds everything together in perfect harmony” (CCC 1827). This means that love gives life to every other virtue. Without love, even good actions lose their meaning.

This lesson plan helps youth see that love is not only about emotions. Feelings can change, but love is steady. It is about making a choice to want what is best for others. This connects directly to the Catholic call to holiness. Each of us is asked to love in small daily ways and sometimes in greater sacrifices. The lives of the saints are full of examples of this. Saint Teresa of Calcutta cared for the poorest of the poor. Saint Maximilian Kolbe gave his life in place of another prisoner. These stories remind us that love is action.

In the end, Catholic teaching shows us that love is the way we reflect God’s life in the world. God is love, and we are made in His image (1 John 4:8). When we love, we are closest to Him. This lesson plan gives young people the chance to see that truth more clearly and to practice it in real ways. Love is both a gift and a calling, and it is at the center of what it means to follow Jesus.

Music Suggestions

• Hold Us Together
• Love God Love People
• King of My Heart
• Great Are You Lord
• Jesus We Love You
• Ubi Caritas
• Love One Another